We’re just a couple hours away from the drop of the puck for the 2008 Stanley Cup Playoffs. Might as well throw my predictions out there. Why so facetious? Because no analysis ever comes to fruition, so I just make up my own reasons.

East:

1 Montreal vs. 8 Boston

Apparently, Montreal won all 8 games during the regular season. Obviously, that translates to success in the playoffs. Habs sweep.

2 Pittsburgh vs. 7 Ottawa

Upon further review of the Penguins team photo, Anton Volchenkov has more cajoles than the entire Penguins lineup. Ottawa in 6.

3 Washington vs. 6 Philadelphia

This just in: the Flyers don’t play in the Southeast. Flyers in 6.

4 New Jersey vs. 5 NY Rangers

Rangers in 6. Just because.

West:

1 Detroit vs. 8 Nashville

Dan Ellis? Against the Red Wings? Detroit in 5.

2 San Jose vs. 7 Calgary

San Jose — too hot. Jeremy Roenick — too sexy. Sharks in 6.

3 Minnesota vs. 6 Colorado

The Avalanche remind me of Van Halen. They always get back together, and two weeks later, it’s over. That coincides with this series. Minnesota in 7.

4 Anaheim vs. 5 Dallas

The Ducks are defending champs and the Stars are perennial underacheivers-because-everyone-always-thinks-they’re-better-than-they-actually-are. Ducks in 5.