So I didn’t get any sleep last night. Why? Two reasons.

One, as my friends may know I’m getting into collecting hockey jerseys - and I really wanted this Red Wings one on eBay that was ending at around 8:10 AM. I ended up missing it because I got a whole 40 minutes of sleep…no biggie, but it only went for $18 after shipping and I really wanted to slap some Howe lettering on it and do my best Cameron Frye impression in Toronto. Whatever.

The other reason was because of this “Major Leafs Announcement”. For those who don’t know, an email containing a video of Matt Stajan basically going “OMGZ!!!111 BIG NEWS COMING FROM THE LEAFZ! LEGENDZ TO BE THERE!!11 WILL BE REVOLUTIONARY SO COME TO WATCH IT!” was sent out to Leafs fans everywhere. Word quickly spread, and hype began… some of the topics that were speculated ranged from yet another new jersey design (either as a 3rd or a total redesign), to getting a nearby NHL all-star game, and even a few surrounding our teams spokesman, with rumors of either him getting the captaincy or him reliquishing his number as a further testament to the announcement of Dave Keon’s number being honored. None of those things happened.

So what did we get?

We got a free preseason game. Well, sort of.

Basically whats happening is the Leafs are going to play one extra preseason game this year on September 22nd against everyones favourite team to rape for cheap away seats, the Buffalo Sabres. And tickets will kind of, sort of be free. The 750 people who showed up each got a pair of tickets, which would leave approximately 17,300 tickets left (maybe more if they didn’t even get 750 people). This free game, how are they going to do it? Pull people out of a hat? Do a simple first come first serve? Either way, its great for the people who can’t afford to go to a leafs game! Right?

WRONG.

Its actually quite worse.

The game is sponsored by Coca-Cola Zero, who will be dispensing these tickets in promotions and contests that will make people spend more money trying to get free tickets than they would buying them in the first place.

For those who don’t know, your normal pre-season ticket goes for about $25-30. So, how is Coke going to make it back?

• SMS Contests - You know those “send GIMMEURTICKETZ to 123456″ contests that company’s have? I guarentee Coke does this. everyone pays about $2 for that text message, and the entry ratio will be much higher than 15:1.
• iCoke.ca - iCoke is a rewards program by Coca-Cola where you get points to buy items, or raffle tickets. 591ML bottles of coke are getting double the reward points until the years end in Canada…this was announced…yesterday. So a 591ml bottle gets you 1000 points. Watch out for people buying tons of Coke as they spend tons of iCoke points getting raffle tickets, probably spending $25-30 on coke.
• Instant wins - Same approach, less fuss.
• Advertising - They’ll have one of those ads that tell you to enter a code on the site to be entered in for a ticket. No profit there, right? Well, until they whore the three things above me.

Now, the Leafs are hyping up this game as a great fan night, so tickets WILL be in demand, meaning that people will be spending tons of money on these coke contests and in the end will likely spend more on the contests than the price of a normal ticket in HOPES of getting to a meaningless game we’ll probably lose.

Now, in the subconcious - someone would think after spending the $40 on winning these tickets that they’re still free, right? So this is where they “give back” to the leafs, spending more money on concessions and merchendise then usual.

So, is MLSE giving back to the fans? Nope. They’re just taking in more money and laughing. This was never about giving to the fans - this was about finding a way to maximize revenue and hype for the pre-season, building a stronger corporate relation with Coca-Cola, and suckering us in to watching a team fail miserably in a game that doesn’t even count.

We wanted something interesting, something that would leave a legacy on the Leafs even in the slightest. Heck, even something to give us a slight hope in what’s gunning to be a miserable year.

What did we get?

I think they’re selling our crushed hopes in the pro-shop for $9.99. I hear they’re in the shape of coke bottles and have an SMS number on them.