THE WORST JERSEYS, 2007-2008

5. Nashville Predators

WHY IT SUCKS: They were smart to unveil it like they did, without anyone wearing equipment or anything, because these jerseys just scream “LONG SLEEVE T-SHIRT”. They also just look odd. The Predators logo is still very minor-league, though a bit managable, and this jersey shows just how bad the “Bettman Pipes” (read: yellow stripes) look on a jersey..a theme that for some reason several NHL teams thought would work. Again, its an awkward jersey, though I suppose as a $30 shirt it would be okay.

4. Buffalo Sabres

WHY IT SUCKS: Its all in the logo. People, that is supposed to be a Buffalo. I’m not kidding. While the design itself isn’t all too bad, the logo just murders any hope of respect in this uniform. Rather than the Buffalo its supposed to be…it looks like a…

Great job, Sabres Brass. Thankfully, I hear the thirds are very nice, closer to their older jerseys and 06/07 3rds.

One can hope, folks.

3. Florida Panthers

WHY IT SUCKS: Bettman stripes? Check. Minor league logo? Check. Incredibly stupid looking “Half Stripe”? Check. Sadly Panthers fans, Florida is too busy figuring out how to let young stud defenceman Jay Bouwmeester slip away for next to nothing, (joining Roberto Luongo and Olli Jokinen as stars who will leave the failed land since the lockout for likely little return) to even consider a 3rd. Probably a good thing, come to think of it - knowing them they’d just take this blue one and make it red.

2. Edmonton Oilers

WHY IT SUCKS: Not only do they manage to continue Florida’s trend of Bettman stripes and half arm stripes, they managed to make a jersey more empty looking than their practice jersey. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?

1. Dallas Stars

WHY IT SUCKS: Tom Hicks, if you don’t want the Dallas Stars any more, and the person you want to buy them is Mark Cuban, I don’t think trying to make him think the Stars are the Mavericks makes more sense than, you know, asking him if you wants to buy. I mean, what is the point of this jersey? To make matters worse, the home jersey says Dallas on it, and the away says Stars. Does that even make sense to more than 3 or 4 people?

Honorable Mentions: The Anahiem Ducks, and Vancouver Canucks

The Ducks have a great design, but they really should call Disney and try to get the logo back

WHAT CITY ARE THEY IN? Jeez. Its not like they’ve changed their logo recently - its basically a recolored jersey from what they’ve had since around 1997-ish. Why the Massive “VANCOUVER” on it? Probably for the 2010 Olympics so people will buy them for god knows what reason. Really though, if thats the case, they should go for something like this:

THE WORST JERSEYS…EVER

5. New York Islanders, 1995-96

Why They Suck: Actually, I personally don’t mind them. But I can see why people wouldn’t like them. The waves, the font on the lettering, and the bastardization of the old islanders logo. Gorton’s Fisherman, anyone?

4. Boston Bruins, 1995-96

WHY IT SUCKS: Because it looks like it should’ve been used for a roller hockey team, not on an Original 6 team that is full of Legacy and tradition. Remember kids - only YOU can prevent crappy hockey jerseys.

3. Los Angeles Kings, 1995-96

REASON IT SUCKS: The swirls look stupid, it somehow makes Wayne ****ing Gretzky look stupid, and, come on:

2. Anahiem Mighty Ducks, 1995-96 (NOTICING A PATTERN HERE???)

WHY IT SUCKS: Who’s stupid idea was it that a Robot wearing a normal ducks jersey jumping out of the ice with a green sky would be a good idea? Oh right, Disney.

And the WORST jersey ever?

1. St. Louis Blues, Never Released but were going to be released in….wait for it…1995-96

WHY IT SUCKS: Just…just look at it. I’m not even going to talk about it. Just LOOK at it.

Honorable Mention: Vancouver Canucks: 1980’s “Flying V”

Just because everyone seems to hate it. Why? The coloring is terrible and it kind of needs a logo. Though it wasn’t as bad as the summer of ‘95.

One, as my friends may know I’m getting into collecting hockey jerseys - and I really wanted this Red Wings one on eBay that was ending at around 8:10 AM. I ended up missing it because I got a whole 40 minutes of sleep…no biggie, but it only went for $18 after shipping and I really wanted to slap some Howe lettering on it and do my best Cameron Frye impression in Toronto. Whatever.

The other reason was because of this “Major Leafs Announcement”. For those who don’t know, an email containing a video of Matt Stajan basically going “OMGZ!!!111 BIG NEWS COMING FROM THE LEAFZ! LEGENDZ TO BE THERE!!11 WILL BE REVOLUTIONARY SO COME TO WATCH IT!” was sent out to Leafs fans everywhere. Word quickly spread, and hype began… some of the topics that were speculated ranged from yet another new jersey design (either as a 3rd or a total redesign), to getting a nearby NHL all-star game, and even a few surrounding our teams spokesman, with rumors of either him getting the captaincy or him reliquishing his number as a further testament to the announcement of Dave Keon’s number being honored. None of those things happened.

So what did we get?

We got a free preseason game. Well, sort of.

Basically whats happening is the Leafs are going to play one extra preseason game this year on September 22nd against everyones favourite team to rape for cheap away seats, the Buffalo Sabres. And tickets will kind of, sort of be free. The 750 people who showed up each got a pair of tickets, which would leave approximately 17,300 tickets left (maybe more if they didn’t even get 750 people). This free game, how are they going to do it? Pull people out of a hat? Do a simple first come first serve? Either way, its great for the people who can’t afford to go to a leafs game! Right?

WRONG.

Its actually quite worse.

The game is sponsored by Coca-Cola Zero, who will be dispensing these tickets in promotions and contests that will make people spend more money trying to get free tickets than they would buying them in the first place.

For those who don’t know, your normal pre-season ticket goes for about $25-30. So, how is Coke going to make it back?

• SMS Contests - You know those “send GIMMEURTICKETZ to 123456″ contests that company’s have? I guarentee Coke does this. everyone pays about $2 for that text message, and the entry ratio will be much higher than 15:1.
• iCoke.ca - iCoke is a rewards program by Coca-Cola where you get points to buy items, or raffle tickets. 591ML bottles of coke are getting double the reward points until the years end in Canada…this was announced…yesterday. So a 591ml bottle gets you 1000 points. Watch out for people buying tons of Coke as they spend tons of iCoke points getting raffle tickets, probably spending $25-30 on coke.
• Instant wins - Same approach, less fuss.
• Advertising - They’ll have one of those ads that tell you to enter a code on the site to be entered in for a ticket. No profit there, right? Well, until they whore the three things above me.

Now, the Leafs are hyping up this game as a great fan night, so tickets WILL be in demand, meaning that people will be spending tons of money on these coke contests and in the end will likely spend more on the contests than the price of a normal ticket in HOPES of getting to a meaningless game we’ll probably lose.

Now, in the subconcious - someone would think after spending the $40 on winning these tickets that they’re still free, right? So this is where they “give back” to the leafs, spending more money on concessions and merchendise then usual.

So, is MLSE giving back to the fans? Nope. They’re just taking in more money and laughing. This was never about giving to the fans - this was about finding a way to maximize revenue and hype for the pre-season, building a stronger corporate relation with Coca-Cola, and suckering us in to watching a team fail miserably in a game that doesn’t even count.

We wanted something interesting, something that would leave a legacy on the Leafs even in the slightest. Heck, even something to give us a slight hope in what’s gunning to be a miserable year.

What did we get?

I think they’re selling our crushed hopes in the pro-shop for $9.99. I hear they’re in the shape of coke bottles and have an SMS number on them.

1. To Watch Bryan McCabe Confuse Leaf Fans Everywhere by being Awful at the beginning of the year.
   YouTube - Bryan McCabe Tribute
2. Rediculously stupid Crispy Crunch Commercials Played during the World Juniors
   YouTube - Weird new Crispy Crunch commercial (Hypnosis)
3. The 2008 Winter Classic, in Buffalo (NOT BOSTON, guy at the end on NBC)
   YouTube - CBC’s Video Summary of the Winter Classic
   YouTube - Crosby Explodes after Scoring The SO Winner
   YouTube - Winter Classic
4. The World Junior Championships were awesome, with Canada Winning Their 4th in a Row
   YouTube - WJC 2007 Gold Medal Game - Overtime
   YouTube - WJC 2007 Gold Medal Game - Legein is a Legend
5. Darian Hatcher Being an Utter Moron and Injuring his own Player:
   YouTube - Hatcher Misses Steen, Hits Lupul
6. Steve Downie being moron during the Regular Season (we all know the preseason hit)
   YouTube - Downie Sucker-Punches Blake
7. Andrei Kostitsyn, nuff said.
   YouTube - Andrei Kostitsyn Owns Washington
8. Andrew Raycroft’s Career was Summarized in 5 seconds this year:
   YouTube - Andrew Raycroft’s Career in 5 Seconds
9. Watching Analysts Bitch at Each Other (Leaf fans are waiting down the seconds till they’re gone)
   YouTube - Kypreos and Watters Go At It
10. The Rivalry of Alexander Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin
    YouTube - Ovechkin and Malkin almost fight after Ovy blows hit
11. Andrei Kostitsyn…again
    YouTube - Andrei Kostitsyn Owns Atlanta
12. Rick Nash with the goal of the year
    YouTube - Rick Nash scores the Goal of the Year!
13. Guaranteed 1st overall pick Steve Stamkos
    YouTube - Steve Stamkos Predicts The Skills Comp Moves!
14. Huet’s save is…
    YouTube - Huet Makes an AWESOME Blue Line Save!
15. …Almost as good as Haseks save that might as well be hit of the year too.
    YouTube - Hasek Flips Gaborik
16. We found out that the Toronto Maple Leafs Crank Dat Soulja Boy…
    YouTube - Crank Dat Toronto Maple Leafs
17. The amazing 5 goal comeback of the Montreal Canadiens
    YouTube - The Biggest Comeback in Habs History | 5-0 to 6-5
18. Brawlin’ Night in Canada - Vancouver/Edmonton take 9 minutes to finish the final 40 seconds
    YouTube - Vancouver/Edmonton ends in a FIGHT FEST
19. Ryan Smyth being hit…by the Divider. Knocked the fuck out, too.
    YouTube - Ryan Smyth Hurt Bad by Jack Johnson
20. Andrei Kostitsyn…AGAIN!
    YouTube - Andrei Kostitsyn Goal
21. Darwin Head winning $1,000,000 at GM place during a Canucks Game:
    YouTube - Darwin Head wins $1,000,000 at GM Place!
22. Whats a shootout without Rob Schremp? He does it again!
    YouTube - Rob Schremp brings his dangles to the 2008 AHL All Star Game
23. If you thought McCabe’s own goal was bad…Niklas Backstrom almost cost Washington a playoff spot!
    YouTube - Backstrom Scores on His Own Net!
24. Vesa Toskala letting in a 197 foot shot:
    YouTube - Toskala lets in.. The Worst Goal Ever?
25. Patrick Thoresen Nearly Losing His Nuts:
    YouTube - Patrick Thoreson Blocks A Shot…With His Nuts
26. The Avery/Brodeur Situation
    YouTube - Sean Avery’s Stick-Wavin’ Mind Games
    YouTube - Avery Co Make Fun of New Rule in Practice
    YouTube - Avery
27. Dan Ellis Letting in a Half Ice Slapper
    YouTube - Dan Ellis Lets In A Goal From Center Ice
28. Riots in Montreal after winning in the first round:
    YouTube - Habs fans already going crazy in Montreal
    YouTube - News Story on Habs Game 7 Riots
    YouTube - Montreal Riot Cam Footage
29. Carey Price Temporarily has the Save of the Year…
    YouTube - Carey Price with the save of the year!
30. …until Nabokov shuts him up
    YouTube - Evgeni Nabokov with the Save of the Year, Possibly Decade?
31. And Turco, for that matter
    YouTube - Marty Turco Can Make An Awesome Save Too
32. In the same game, Brendan Morrow submitted his entry for hit of the year:
    YouTube - Morrow with one of the best hits of the year!
33. Go back a few days, and see Zetterberg’s submission for goal of the year:
    YouTube - Zetterberg’s Awesome Goal
34. Now on to Mike Ribeiro and Chris Osgood being douchebags:
    YouTube - Mike Ribeiro’s Cheap Slash on Osgood
35. And if you thought the last two own goals were bad…this one is the worst.
    YouTube - The Worst Own Goal EVER (Russia/Switzerland)
36. And three more championships. First, Russia won the World Senior Hockey Championship:
    YouTube - Russia wins World Hockey Championship [Part 1/2]
37. Then Spokane won (but more importantly, broke) the Memorial Cup
    YouTube - Spokane BREAKS the Memorial Cup
38. And, as most know, Detroit won the Stanley Cup.
    YouTube - Detroit Red Wings Win The Cup! 1/3
    YouTube - Detroit Red Wings Win The Cup! 2/3
    YouTube - Detroit Red Wings Win The Cup! 3/3

Niklas Lidstrom will be the first European player in history to captain his team to the promised land in its 115 year history tonight, as the Detroit Red Wings have won the 2008 Stanley Cup, defeating the Pittsburgh 4-2 in the best of 7.

Though the Pittsburgh Penguins rallied on, scoring a power play goal with less than two minutes to go, Detroit won the game 3-2 on goals by Brian Rafalski, Valtteri Filppula, and Henrik Zetterberg, whereas Evengi Malkin and the injured Sergei Gonchar scored for the Penguins, who almost scored with less than a second left.

As I’m writing in the final seconds, we don’t know the exact details yet, but it is presumed that Henrik Zetterberg will win the Conn Smythe Trophy for Playoff MVP.

This is the eleventh time that the Red Wings have won the cup, tying the Toronto Maple Leafs for the second most in NHL history (the Montreal Canadiens lead with 24) , with several players on this wings roster getting their 4th.

As well, Chris Chelios is the oldest player to ever win the cup, at 46 years old.

Photos and video coming.

UPDATE: Henrik Zetterberg is indeed the Conn Smythe Winner. Penguins fans are cheering ‘Crosby!’ right now, haha.

Bourdon was one of the Vancouver Canucks’ top prospects, next to Alexander Edler. He spent his time split between the Manitoba Moose and the Canucks last year, and was really showing plenty of potential.

“Luc was a winner, he was a competitor,” said Kent Hughes, his agent. “There was no quit in him. He persevered through a lot. He was a great guy and a great teammate.”

His agent didn’t even know he’d gotten into motorcycling. “I had no idea,” he told CKNW in Vancouver. “Another client of ours, Kris Letang, said Luc let him know he was riding his dad’s motorcycle with some friends a week or two ago. I have since been told - though I don’t know - that he actually bought a motorcycle two days ago.”

He also won a gold medal for Canada in the 2006 World Junior Championships, and followed that up with a Memorial Cup that same year. He signed a 3 year entry level deal immediately afterwards with the Canucks.

“We are deeply saddened by today’s news and on behalf of the entire Vancouver Canucks organization, I would like to extend my sincere sympathies to Luc’s family,” said Canucks general manager Mike Gillis in a statement.

“Luc was an extremely talented player with a bright future. He brought great passion to the game and was a valued team member on and off the ice. He will be greatly missed.”

RIP Luke, and Condolences to the Bourdon Family

Congrats to the Chiefs! They won the game 4-1 as of just now. It was a well played game that both teams deserved to win but Spokane just had Kitchener’s number tonight.

I’ll be uploading the celebration to youtube ocne its over, but for now, lets just leave it to them and their fans to do their celebrations. What kind of annoys me though, is now due to this win, Azevedo will become the North American Brunnstrom. An overager with no contract who played really well in his last gasp. This is the first time an American Team has won the Memorial cup in 10 years.

Stafford Smythe Trophy (Playoff MVP, just like the NHL trophy named after more famous brother Conn) goes to Dustin Tokarski of Spokane.

UPDATE: The Chiefs have also BROKEN the Memorial Cup! Vid below.

We Rick Rolled Him.

Chocolate Rain Coming Soon (E4), Dramatic Chipmunk behind him (E2), Big legs on him really being Chris Crocker (E3).

For the fifth straight season, the Detroit Red Wings finished at the top of the NHL’s Western Conference standings. Still, many questioned their ability to perform when it mattered most, in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. As in so many years past, the Red Wings have once again proved their critics wrong. They breezed through Nashville, a team that only briefly had life in the series due to the heroic goaltending efforts of Dan Ellis. They obliterated a star studded Colorado Avalanche team that saw their chances slip through their fingers with injuries to key players Peter Forsberg and Wojtek Wolski. When they jumped to a 3-0 lead in the Dallas series they appeared to be unstoppable, despite the absence of playoff sensation Johan Franzen. Now, after a brief scare in the form of two losses to a hungry Stars team, they have earned a berth in the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time since 2002.

Dallas tried to create a comeback in the 3rd period today, after going down 4-0. But one goal doesn’t win you a miracle, unfortunately for them.

Oh, and Wings fans, Lidstrom didn’t touch the Clarence Campbell. You’re safe for now.

If I recall correctly, Game 1 is Saturday at the Joe. Be ready for the best run and gun offensive series since the 80’s!

I hate Ilya Kovalchuk even more now, but congrats to Russia.

Ilya Kovalchuk scored the game tying AND game winning goal today in a 5-4 win that gave Russia the gold for the first time in 16 years. The rocket of a goal came on the power play during a penalty on Rick Nash for delay of game just minutes into overtime.

Dany Heatley was named the MVP after tallying 20 points in the tournament.

Both goalies, Nabokov for Russia and Ward for Canada, made some great saves and let in some bad goals but in the end it was Nabokov who came out victorious for his team.